Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Text Messages

Hi everyone, this is Nolan. Cait hasn’t been able to talk to any of us for a while now; the network over there has been really spotty. We’ve begun to depend upon text messages, which seem to work really well. I refuse to delete them from my phone, mostly because they’re from Cait, but also because I think they are all so neat. I was going through them, reading them off, and realizing I should share some of them. The messages go back several months, so some of the things in the text messages may also have appeared in Cait's posts (like the witching thing). So, here they are. Enjoy.

A girl is walking down the street right next to me wearing a Colorado t-shirt that was hanging from my clothesline only a few months ago. Ridiculous.

Last night I helped put out a huge brush fire that almost caught the houses. I’m back in Africa.

Urine from a male cape water buffalo is so flammable that some tribes use it for lantern fluid.

A lady just walked into my office with a machete. Machetes here are like handbags there. Everyone just carries them around.

I’ve just been walking along the B1 Highway for over an hour trying to get a hike. I’ve only seen two cars going my way. Not very promising. I may just walk the 150 km home.

I’m listening to The Daily Show episode with Clinton on podcast while watching the African sunset, eating a piece of braaied meat. This is my life, I bet you can’t wait :)

I’m playing “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego” with my kids. It’s a lot harder than I remember. The kids are screaming at each other in KKG, clicking like crazy. It’s great!

My friend was witched on the weekend. Two witches came into his house while he was sleeping and took blood from him. Someone saw them leaving. Apparently they were naked J Crazy place J (Nolan-My response was something like “was this a peace corps friend?” She sent this response) No, one of the himba wrestlers. They take blood either to sell to another witch doctor or to use for spells. They don’t like white people’s blood, but I’ve been told to watch my hair. It’s very desirable to witches. And the person who coma witched my friend is the librarian at my center. We all work together! Things are colorful here. By the way, “coma” means “apparently” in Afrikaans, in case you were wondering.

A friend’s dad sent TIVO Grey’s Anatomy. It’s pretty sappy but I’m sucked in. Even watching the commercials, like being home. It’s so damn hot here. Milk was a bad choice.

I ate a hard-boiled egg that I bought from a kid at the service station this morning. Now I’m beginning to feel like that wasn’t such a good idea.

Got a notice today that all electricity in Omaruru will be cut on my birthday. Must mean we are moving on up if we now get NOTICES of power outages.

I forgot to tell mom, but I’ll be in Windhoek for the weekend if anyone is wondering. I’m hiking in the back of an open bakkie with a bunch of chickens and an Angolan man who only speaks Portuguese. I’m trying my best with Spanish. I hope I don’t get bird flu. (20 minutes later) And now it’s starting to rain, the chickens are unhappy.

I’m on the coast for the weekend. In a store playing Christmas music. It’s making me a bit teary eyed for home – 11/3/06

We have tortilla chips in our store now! I’m happy :)

Two men lying in the yard of the police station just gave me $20 and asked me to buy them a phone card. When I asked why THEY didn’t go buy it, they replied, “because we’re in custody.” Duh! Life changes very little for inmates. We all just lounge around comfortably together. Ahhh, the good life.

There’s a scorpion in my bathtub. Boo. Hiss.

We had kudu for dinner. Even more delicious than goat. Today we have no electricity. Life is a bit silly.

Against my better judgment I ate some mystery meat “salad” given to me yesterday. Now I’m having a runny tummy :(

It’s about 110 degrees and I just hiked the mountain with some learners, one of whom started seeing spots half way up. I thought heat poisoning; the others were convinced he was being witched. And now that we are back all I want is a Fanta Orange. Thoughts? Talk amongst yourselves.

My coworker Jeremiah just called me a “cherie bok”, which means cherrie goat. My office has now erupted into a heated debate about whether or not calling someone a goat is a compliment. Jeremiah insists it is the same as calling me beautiful. I’m now trying to explain that where I come from, it is never nice to refer to someone as a farm animal.

Can you bring me Q’doba when you come?

My supervisor is lying on the floor of her office blaring herero gospel music. Strange thing is: I’m not at all alarmed by this.

The combined income of the 500 wealthiest people now exceeds that of the poorest 416 million. That’s horrible.

My kids came over last night with their clothes and hands COVERED in blood. My first thought: who did you kill?!? Response: don’t worry Miss, we found a springbok stuck in your fence, so we slaughtered it for dinner. Haha! Hunting Namibian style.

A man in a nearby town lit himself on fire and died today. A picture of his dead burned body was in the paper. It’s amazing how censored US news is, or how uncensored African news is.